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Sorry I haven't been on deviantart recently! Things have been super busy - if you want to stay updated on my photography works, I generally post more on here, so please check it out!
I hope everyone has been doing well, (almost) Happy Easter!
I hope everyone has been doing well, (almost) Happy Easter!
Moving On
I'm not exactly sure how to move on. I'm not sure that my heart wants to, I'm not sure that it can stand the capacity of leaving behind the past. But I know that it's the future. I know that there is no way around it, I know that there exists no probability of my past reoccuring again. No possibility of connection.
So I'm beginning a new journey - a slow, unsteady one, but someday I'll get over this. Someday, I'll be able to stand on my own.
Fear of Failing
I want to chase after the things I love with a raw desperation. With the need to fulfill something deeper and lost inside my heart, the utter sense of chasing after the wind and sun and moon. I want to. I want to, almost unfailingly - because right now I've fallen into a dark abyss of depression and loss of passion. I stare at the pencil, the pen, in my hand, and the blank paper in front of me. I look through the camera lens, and try, and try to shoot something, to shape a piece of myself into pixels, but nothing works. Nothing.
I want to love something without the fear of failing.
Another Child's Dreams
We wanted to dream. To dream into our life, to race towards the a point that never got closer. We wanted to discover, to venture out into a world so big we didn't know where to begin. But dreams rarely become reality, and the world wasn't so bright, like we thought. I'm sorry, for everything. I'm sorry because I don't even know where to start, now. I'm too afraid to take the first step, too broken to be brave.
At some point, I got used to you leaving. It became a habitual pattern, of you staying for a while, some small talk, some emotional things I was dealing with. And eventually you would trail off, forgetting to reply, or getting
Days From the Past
I wanted to tell her that she was beautiful. That her hair flowed in the wind, that her eyes were like the sun, a myriad of colors, drawing me in. I wanted to say that she was like a pillar of support, always cheering me up with her smile, and the way she said my name.
I don't know why it keeps on hurting. Why I can't love one person completely, why I can't say those words that have been inside me for months and years. Why the voices in my head are constantly screaming at me, telling me words I never wanted to hear. I don't know why I'm such a damn coward and why I can't stand up for myself.
Can you... remember? Do you? It was just t
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